from want to necessity

my teacher would be surprised if he would know this.

just few hours ago, in his class, we were watching a video clip of one of the lectures headed by one of the famous legal minds in the country.
as i was attentively listening to the substance of the talk of this known person in the clip, i was looking at his glasses. the shape, the color, the frame, the fit... and even the story behind why he is wearing eyeglasses were playing in my mind. i was not able to focus then....

then my childhood dream flashed into the air. i used to think that those people wearing eye glasses are rich because they can afford to have one...and...they are genius...this impression left a trivial dream in me...one day i will have a pair so that people will think i am rich and i am smart...i never thought that this idea would be materialized...

months and years have passed but i still did not have one... my family would say that to have one is too expensive since i came from a poor family...indirectly saying...give up that thought of having one.

later on i noticed that my vision was really deteriorating as time passed by...

when i started attending school, there was this test during the early months of the school year conducted by public medical personnels checking if the students were healthy or needed some medical attention. among the examinations was this vision test in which students were asked to look at a snellen chart with letters M, E, and F. and then they determine what letter was pointed by the nurse or teacher. it was composed of five or six levels wherein as one goes higher, he or she should move farther from the chart.

the nurse or my teacher never explained to us the significance of that test. so i thought one should get a perfect score. most of my classmates scored 20/20. i told myself...i should get perfect too...

since practice makes perfect...i tried standing away from the chart and looked at the letters...that was the first time i became conscious of my bad vision...if couldnt read the letters in level 2, how much more in the last level...the desire to get a perfect score drived me to plot a strategy...so what i did was, i went near to the chart and tried to memorize the letters in each level so that if it would my turn, it would not be difficult for me since i knew the orders of the letters already...through out my elementary years, this strategy went effective.

however, there was a point where i could no longer ignore my condition. when was in high school, my teacher would ask me to sit at the back rows since my classmates were a bit shorter than me. but the problem was i could not see clearly what were written on the board. so i had to transfer everytime we were asked to copy the writings on the board. it was really a challenge asking my classmates if they would allow me to sit on their chair...in exchange of my chair situated away from the board. but thanks to God i had generous classmates who said yes to my requests.

during my high school year i had to undergo the snellen test...however, i learned to recognize the problem...moreover., it was not easy to memorize those letters in the chart since all the letters of the alphabet were included...unlike during my elementary years which were only a few...

the worst score i had was 6/20...this is the fraction i hate the most...

sometimes i feel so dumb especially when my classmates laughed at me. i had difficulty of deciphering what words were written....i had to squint most of the times...

my situation got worse...and i was scared thinking i would be blind when i reach the age of thirty...specially when i met blind individuals...

then the idea of having eyeglasses recurred. it used to be a want ...it used to be a sign of being a genius...but then i realized...it is a sign that there is something wrong in me...to the point of labeling myself as dumb specially when i cant read the writings well...it seemed my brain could not function well...now...it is a necessity...i always asked myself...should i get one or not?...

luckily, i was able to endure my high school years without eyeglasses...moreover, even if i decided to have one i still could not get it since it was too pricey for us..

when i entered the university, i saw a lot of students wearing eyeglasses...everytime i see one of them, i would tell myself...this student must be a genius...maybe a dean's lister...i never thought the story behind each pair of eyeglasses...i only focused to what i thought a great impression.

when i was a sophomore, one incident pushed me to use eyeglasses. i was seated in the front row but i could not read the writings of the board. it was alarming for me. then one time the teacher noticed that i had hard time reading the black prints in the manila paper...so she asked me if there was something wrong with my eyes...shyly, i told her ...yes....she offered her chair situated in the platform...the distance of the chair from the manila paper was like two feet away...but i still had to squint to that i could clearly see the black prints...

after that fateful morning....i decided i should get a pair of eyeglasses...

i could still remember the first time i wore it...the comments of my classmates...that i looked like a genius...on the other hand...the comments of my sisters that i looked older than my chronological age says...since i was speechless...i only gave them a smile...but inside me was a feeling of envy towards those who were not wearing one...telling myself...how i wish i have a 20/20 vision.

the want before became a necessity for me...every year i have to get a new one because my prescription gets higher...

it never came into my mind that one day the thing that i wanted which seemed so impressive for me would become a necessity and could mean there is something wrong with me...


"correct me if im wrong...i highly appreciate it..."....--betterment seeker---